my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
