Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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