nut hugger
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think your dad took our porno
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
