you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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