people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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