also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize