It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
