how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
