literally had 100 drinks last night.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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