is your mom at the bar?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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