my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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