Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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