i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize