i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
