So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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