I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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