Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
