Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
