Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
