Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
