margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
home. puking in laundry basket.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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