Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
