My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
