Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
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He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
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In other news, I just burned my penis
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize