the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
33 Memes Youâ€™ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If Youâ€™ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!