last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize