so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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