Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
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I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
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Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.