He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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