Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
