No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
