But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
