I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
50% drunk capacity currently
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
