Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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