Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
