Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
