I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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