Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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