You really coming over, don't trick.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
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found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
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Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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