Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize