Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
