You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
