You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
