dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
