so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
