I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
