Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
