Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
