fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
