forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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