Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
