we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
