I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
