I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
