Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
