I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
