she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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