at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
