Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
