I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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