North Korea, Best Korea!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't deserve a penis
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize