I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
