i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
