Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
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I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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