Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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