I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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