I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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