5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
