He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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