Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
