Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
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While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
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I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize