The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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