she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Let's paint friendship bongs
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize