You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
